We started our birthing classes last week. We have chosen the Bradley Method for our childbirthing philosophy of choice, which is a husband-coached method. Basically, Grant will be my doula, coach, waterboy, and general “you can do it!” throughout the rest of my pregnancy and then the birth itself. He has taken this role very seriously, and there have been multiple nights when my drifting off to sleep is interrupted by the whispered “Hey baby, did you do all your Kegels today?”
Our first class we were sitting on futon mats on the floor of our teachers home talking about methods of pain control that we currently employ. Do we let it out, do we hold it in, do we medicate, do we verbally express?… The couple opposite us, she talked about how she internalizes her pain and “walk it off, or grit my teeth- eventually it goes away”. The teacher was very impressed and commented at how she already had a leg up at understanding how to control the pain response of the body and relax until it goes away. Then it was my turn- and I thought it best to be honest. I said that I was a verbalizer and usually there are expletives, yelling, and sometimes things get thrown. In the awkward silence that followed, I joked that I would be the women everyone hears down the hall yelling at her husband “You did this to me- you are never touching me again, etc.”
I thought I would at least get points for expressing my feelings and that letting it out (painful feelings) is definately better then holding it in.. right? Across the room, Miss Cool and Collected leaned over to her husband and patting his arm said, “I would never do that to you”. Wow- judge much??
I apologized later to Grant, and he said that he was expecting nothing less and was willing to let me labor (and express) however I needed to. The hope is by the end of this class I will be able to let my body do what it needs to do, and expletives will not be necessary. The goal of the Bradley Method is that the woman’s body is built to deliver babies and if I can get out of the way, it will take over and I will have a natural delivery. I am hoping to be drug-free, inducing-free, and C-section free. And for Grant’s sake, maybe he will leave the delivery room unharmed.
Two Souls One Body 